Lost But Finding My Way

Its an Issue of Power

2007-07-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

Christians that do or support this kind of protest have the inability to tell the difference between a redemptive Kingdom of Heaven and a nonexistent Christian Nation. This nation was never intended to be one that was "Christian." Any Christian language that surrounds or exists within the foundational documents of this nation is almost entirely made benign by the fact that there would have been no way of talking about concepts like an unconditional regard for humanity without using words like "all men are created equal." They simply had no way of talking about the fundamental human condition with words like "create."

The reason I say that this language is "almost entirely benign" is because I am sure that a good amount of those involved in the foundation and development of this country have been and are Christians.

The question is now one of determining their intentions for this nation. Did they desire a "Christian nation?" Were separations between church and state set in place solely to prevent Christians from persecuting each other? Leaving the option open to persecute everyone else? I doubt they had the foresight to envision a country in which Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, etc. would desire to live together under one government. This fact makes our efforts to determine their intentions that much more difficult. Would they have written something in that preferred Christianity had they foreseen this coming? I doubt it. If that had been the case they wouldn't have put rules in place to keep church and state separate.

But now we have another problem. This is a nation that has been and is made up of a majority of Christians. This is only a problem if you live in a land that tries to have a representational government. Which we do. So that clear cut line between church and state is going to be blurred a little bit. Back when the majority was larger activities like prayer in public schools and the Ten Commandments in court houses, were simply overlooked because no one would have complained and if someone did their complaint would have fallen on deaf ears. But that is not the case now. The percentage of nominal Christians are declining and so we are discovering that we need to be sensitive to other peoples views and understandings of reality, even if we don't agree. There are finally people to hold America to account for what the original intentions were. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Christendom has been in power for a long time now and it has cause the faith a whole mess of problems. One of which is the inability to make the distinction I mentioned earlier. As the majority declines Christians will be forced to become a people unto themselves. One ruled by Christ which this country could never be. We will be unable to be rulers who lord it over others. Now we simply have to learn to govern ourselves as people in that are the body of Christ. Our mission will no longer be merely to remain the majority. A mission that allows for the mentality that walking around giving ultimatums is an effective form of evangelism. But now our mission will be to participate in God's efforts to redeem creation and in redeeming creation to help redeem each other.

This realization of what the church was always meant to be will alleviate silly episodes like the one above. Issues like school sponsored prayer and postings of the Ten Commandments will fall by the wayside and finally we (the church) can get on with the business of creating conflicts where they matter most. Where redemption is at stake. Issues like abortion where the constitution and those who wrote it have failed on multiple counts. One being that they focused on the inalienable rights of men and another being that those rights are so individualized that we are unable to deal with the fact that when these rights are finally starting to be awarded to women that they are awarded without the consideration of how the whole of humanity is interconnected which each other. This was not a mistake made solely then but at the inception of the nation when only white men were considered the only ones with rights at the expense of those slaves that were also "created" equal. Maybe this unwillingness to see the interconnected nature of all over our fates is the paramount sin written in to America's founding documents. But this is beyond the point that I am trying to make.

I will end by saying that I will always pray for the day when followers of Christ will start being what they were intended to be and will let go of the blatant idolatry of a "Christian Nation" that is more concerned with controlling how you vote than it is with bring about the God's understanding of the Kingdom of Heaven.

2007-07-13T13:35:00.001-07:00

DO NOT VOTE FOR THESE PEOPLE!

2007-05-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah, who isn't...

2007-05-19T09:37:00.001-07:00

Jerry Falwell was not one of my favorite people on the planet. In fact, most of my papers during my first year in seminary were written in an effort to tear down what he had built. But for all the criticism that he got, this one is the most ironic. Take this clip for example.

The family guy clip was laying out the criticism that Falwell's message was entirely about hate and now the church has produced someone that is more about hate than Falwell himself. I don't think that Falwell was entirely about hate but I certainly believe that Phelps is. In that sense I guess I wish the writers at Family Guy had waited to play that card when it was more approperate.

When I did hear of Falwell's death I mourned his death in a way I felt was appropriate for mourning someone whom I didn't agree with and whose legacy is going to be the bane of my existence for the next five decades.

But when Phelps passes I am not sure if I will be able to muster the grace I had for Falwell.

Ten Commandments

2007-05-12T11:01:00.000-07:00

http://gorillamask.net/colbert10c.shtml

This kind of shit that just drives me crazy. He has no idea what the commandments are and wants them put up in court houses. I hope this was staged. He knows just about as much about the ten commandments as Bill Maher (who I am a fan of, just FYI).

Don't swear?!? I think he is talking about "don't take the Lord's name in vain" which isn't swearing and it isn't what most christian think it is either. When I say "God" or "Jesus Christ" in anger as in "God damn that computer for crashing again," it has nothing to do with taking the lord's name in vain. Its about taking oaths by God's name. Jesus was talking about this when he said let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" a "no."

I don't really want to get into explain my point of view on what this verse means, but as long as people are willing to stay in the dark about what they feel are important issues then we will continue to see these kinds of discussions that are totally fruitless and based on nothing other than ignorance mixed a bit of passion.

More about brothers...

2007-05-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

I just posted something about me and my brother, even though it showed up under Feb 7, I just posted it today. I was recalling one time when I was very young and my brother 3 and half years younger, then very young. We were at the T-intersection of 32nd and Bonnie Doone, where later that year I would watch my brother, in his hast, run in front of a car which stopped soon enough to not hit him and scare me to death. I don't recall much of what happened to bring about my screaming at my friend John, but I remember yelling and desperately trying to hold back tears. I failed and ended up crying and yelling at John that he had "brain washed my brother." What I think happened now that I look back at it is that John had just temporarily replaced me as my brothers "role model" and I became jealous. Jealousy may have been what drove me to scream at one of my best friends that he had brain washed my brother, but it was well intentioned jealousy and John usurping that role that I had played genuinely hurt. John was a fairly confident kid and Jonathan (my brother), who had tagged along that day, was mimicking him more so than me, and I not knowing how to handle the situation reacted adversely to all who were present and both my brother and I ended up walking home. At least that is what I assume happened because I don't remember but my brother was too young to walk home alone at that point. Maybe my brother will read this memoir of more than a decade later and remember or he may have been to young, either way I hope that he knows that he is important to me and has always been so. A fact that is evident by my reaction back then and my posting about it now. Jonathan has always been the hinge on which my emotions move and that is no less true now then it has been in the past. Jonathan if you ever read this, please know that you have been and are loved.

Sometimes its the random things that make you laugh.

2007-04-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but just the very concept of this song cracks me up. Just wanted to share with everyone. This is from the British show The Office. The first video is from the show and the second is off the DVD with a special version of the song. Enjoy the absurdity.

2007-03-04T01:09:00.001-08:00

Whenever I see something like this I get so frustrated I hit what can only be described as a mental stall. This normally results in me holding my head and repeating myself a lot. This can last for several minutes. I am starting to wonder if this is a psychological seizure brought on by an exposure to too much STUPIDITY.

My Brother and Me

2007-02-08T01:55:00.002-08:00

This is a picture of my brother and me. I like this picture a lot. I am not sure why. I had gotten back from my basic training and was a proud infantry soldier (that is what the blue cord means) and it was my brother's military ball. He was in high school at the time in the JROTC program. I find it a bit ironic that my brother has served more time on Active Duty than I have and I have been looking to be on active duty since I graduated from high school seven years ago.

Cheers, Here is to doing what I want to do.

2007-02-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me during my last few day in Germany. I was in Munich with my dad and a group of his German students. In the back there looking at the camera is a friend of mine. We have been friends for a long time. I am fifteen in this picture and as you can see the drinking age in Germany is much lower than here in America. Great stories surround, but the significance of this photo isn't the stories that it brings to mind, but that I am posting on my blog space at all.

I work with youth in my "spare time," I have done so for a few years now. When I got up here in Everett, I started a Myspace.com account because my youth were into it and it was another way I could be involved with their lives. The paradox of me having a "myspace" account because of the kids I work with may not be immediately evident, at least until I want to put a picture of me doing this on my account. No longer is it myspace but it is my space, their space, the churches space, the pastor's space, the parents' space, and so on.

I really don't want my kids to see this picture because I don't want them think that this kind of behavior (in America at least) is o.k. or at least at their age. On the flip side (to use a phrase that is neither part of my past nor commonly used by me) I don't want to hide my light underneath a bushel.

It has been years since this picture has seen the light of day. And as it goes with anything like that, you want to pull it out and show it to everyone like a third grader bring his dog to show and tell. But their I go, I am back in this situation, stuck between "show and tell" and my youth group.

This post isn't so much "show and tell" as it is a lament. A lament for what I am not sure. I would like to say that it is a lament for my profound distrust for the church. A distrust that is totally unwarranted and one that I should get over and just post the damn picture where and how I please. And in so doing so, knowing that if a kid ask a question about this picture that the church can deal with it in a manner that doesn't jeopardize the time I spend with these kids.

I hope that is the case.

I fear that it isn't. That if this picture were seen that scandal and chaos would ensue ending in God knows what. Me not being able to hang out with the kids or whatever. I hope this is an irrational fear based on the former comment.

I am haven't told my youth about this sight and I don't plan on it. But if someday they Google something and this pops up and they click it. I am not going to bad about it. I just hope that they have the courage to ask me about it.

I debated putting a disclaimer at the end of this, something to the effect of "I don't condone blah, blah, blah..." but I won't I will leave it at the hope that whoever sees this that has a problem with it will say something to me about it. And that we can talk about it.

Damn Computer

2007-01-31T01:15:00.000-08:00

I should have seen it coming. My computer after 5+ years of faithful service finally kicked it. I am formatting my hard drive right now to reinstall windows. As the bar keeps moving from 0% to 100% I think back to all the things the papers I wrote when I was an undergrade, stupid things like my resume, and things of paramount imporatnce that have ignored that I now wish I had spent more time going through. Among these things I will miss are pictures. Libby and I love the Smith Tower. When in Seattle it has always been something that we have looked at. The radiant blue light at the top is briliant and very pretty when we see it from gas works or whatever park we would go to look at it from. Anyway, I found two good picture of it; one in black and white and the other in color. I liked the black and white because it made the building look cool contrasted with the rest of downtown Seattle at night, but I wanted the brillant blue light to be as it is. So I had a friend (who know something about this kind of thing) take the blue light and paste it on to the b&w photo. I printed it off, framed it and gave it to Libby.

Back when Libby and I were first dating, Libby and I went to different schools. She went to SPU and I when to CWU. These two schools aren't too distant that we couldn't see eachother on the weekends but they were far enough away that AIM was our primary form of communication. I had saved all the converstation that we had, with the intention of going back through them. Now thay are being eaten away one byte at a time.

I wish I had had the forsight. And while this may sound stupid I hope that this is an oppurtunity to mourn the loss of something meaningful to me and not just something I can hold at a distance.

I hope I do it well.

Moments

2007-01-20T09:45:00.001-08:00

My school has recently moved down to belltown. As a result I now take the bus from Everett to Pikes Place Market. This gets me with in a mile of my school. Needless to say I have been walking more than I have been accustumed. Walking through Pikes Place can be a religious experence at times. I was coming out of this really good tabaco shop and in the hall way, just as you are about to walk outside, there was a pigeon picking up crums from a near by bakery. Standing right by the pigeon was a man snacking on his recently purchased pastrey. Back lit by the slightly veiled sun and framed by the passing crowd behind them. In the reflection of the floor you saw the shadowy images of both them and the crowed rippleing like water. The man had a mild look on his face. Not one of ammusement or even interest in the pigeon but he look and observed the pigeon as he took a bite of his pastery. Now that I think of it the look was an interesting one, when walking downtown city hustle and bustle gets ignored. People handing out fliers, sidewalk evangelists, people coming and going, a woman running to catch the bus, all these things and this man stops for a few moments and looks a pigeon. I am sure that both him and the pigeon frequent that particular bakery, he didn't seem suprised at the presence of the bird, but indifferently observed it anyway. When I saw what was going on I have never had a stronger urge to take a picuter. This is not a urge that come over me regularly but it felt like a moment that was worth capturing. I was observing another person having a moment, which in itself was a moment for me. I leaned against the wall book in hand and took it in for a bit and then was on my way back into the flow of the poeple which took me down stream to my school and on through the rest of my day.

Words

2007-01-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

Once my mom told me that when I was little and learning to speak my dad and her refused to speak down to me. She said this with a little bit of a tone of self mocking. As if the desicion was made with their nosed turned up to baby talk, when in reality I am sure they did it my best interests in mind. And indeed, I did benefit from their decision. Of all the aspects of my life that I have problems, having words doesn't seem to be one of them.

When I was in about 6th grade I won 3rd place in a creative writing contest. It was an Indian Jones type story, that was 4 or 5 pages long. I have it somewhere but I haven't read it in years. Maybe I will post it. A few years later I wrote a speach about my time in J.R.O.T.C. that I was asked to read twice, once for a cerimony that J.R.O.T.C. held annually and once in front of the School Board.

During my sophmore year in college I finally started reading and interacting with the ideas that I was being taught and since then all my words have been used to get decent grade on papers. I have increasingly become better at grammar issues, spelling, and the like and my papers have gotten increasingly better. But my words have ceased to be my own. Sometimes it feels like all I do it "regurgitate what I read" (to put it in the words of Nate Goshe). Sometimes it feels like my papers ammount to is citing such-and-such a guy and this-or-that paper, make is sound decent and turn it in. All this only serving to keep my GPA.

I was watching a slam poet a few days ago named Rives. His words are nothing short of inspiring. While I was watching him I thought about what I have been writing, about how I spend my time and I wondered if I could ever create something half as beautiful as his words. Its not about comparision, it about using what I have and using it well. Its about using my words for me as well as my GPA, something I don't do well or often. I hope this at least a start.

What do you think about my new look?
	Awesome, keep it.
	Hack it off, NOW!

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