My Brother and Me

This is a picture of my brother and me. I like this picture a lot. I am not sure why. I had gotten back from my basic training and was a proud infantry soldier (that is what the blue cord means) and it was my brother's military ball. He was in high school at the time in the JROTC program. I find it a bit ironic that my brother has served more time on Active Duty than I have and I have been looking to be on active duty since I graduated from high school seven years ago.

Cheers, Here is to doing what I want to do.

This is a picture of me during my last few day in Germany. I was in Munich with my dad and a group of his German students. In the back there looking at the camera is a friend of mine. We have been friends for a long time. I am fifteen in this picture and as you can see the drinking age in Germany is much lower than here in America. Great stories surround, but the significance of this photo isn't the stories that it brings to mind, but that I am posting on my blog space at all.

I work with youth in my "spare time," I have done so for a few years now. When I got up here in Everett, I started a Myspace.com account because my youth were into it and it was another way I could be involved with their lives. The paradox of me having a "myspace" account because of the kids I work with may not be immediately evident, at least until I want to put a picture of me doing this on my account. No longer is it myspace but it is my space, their space, the churches space, the pastor's space, the parents' space, and so on.

I really don't want my kids to see this picture because I don't want them think that this kind of behavior (in America at least) is o.k. or at least at their age. On the flip side (to use a phrase that is neither part of my past nor commonly used by me) I don't want to hide my light underneath a bushel.

It has been years since this picture has seen the light of day. And as it goes with anything like that, you want to pull it out and show it to everyone like a third grader bring his dog to show and tell. But their I go, I am back in this situation, stuck between "show and tell" and my youth group.

This post isn't so much "show and tell" as it is a lament. A lament for what I am not sure. I would like to say that it is a lament for my profound distrust for the church. A distrust that is totally unwarranted and one that I should get over and just post the damn picture where and how I please. And in so doing so, knowing that if a kid ask a question about this picture that the church can deal with it in a manner that doesn't jeopardize the time I spend with these kids.

I hope that is the case.

I fear that it isn't. That if this picture were seen that scandal and chaos would ensue ending in God knows what. Me not being able to hang out with the kids or whatever. I hope this is an irrational fear based on the former comment.

I am haven't told my youth about this sight and I don't plan on it. But if someday they Google something and this pops up and they click it. I am not going to bad about it. I just hope that they have the courage to ask me about it.

I debated putting a disclaimer at the end of this, something to the effect of "I don't condone blah, blah, blah..." but I won't I will leave it at the hope that whoever sees this that has a problem with it will say something to me about it. And that we can talk about it.